Music Metaphor

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If God would grant me a wish, I would pray for him to turn back time. In this way, I can change many decisions made, maybe resulting in a happier me whom hurt less people.

I miss the times when I'm still young, being the baby of the whole family, with everyone doting on me like a little princess. I miss the times when I was still on good terms with them.

I miss the times during pre-school to kindergarden period where pure friendships still exist and everyone was still so innocent and naive. I miss the times when everyone's main purpose was just to play and have fun, where no evil thoughts were involved.

I miss the times in primary school when I was still so hardworking, always mugging on my own accords. I miss the times when little conflicts occur but everyone gives and takes, with no evil acts involved.

I miss the times in secondary school when everyone seems so bonded and caring towards each other. I miss the times when teachers are like friends to us, always there whenever we needed them.

Hmmmm! I wish that time could turn back and pass slowly, so I can have more time to treasure those precious moments which I didn't learn to cherish in the past. Another reason is that I want time to turn back so I can make another decision, perharps life would be better.

First, I would have chosen to stay close with the family because they're just wonderful people whom God had given me. I am who I am today, thanks to them =)

Secondly, I would have chosen not to drift away from God at the beginning of last year. Drifting away from him resulted in me having depression for 4months, and hence not going to school regularly from January till April. That period of time was really a terrible experience. Thanks to my family, teachers, friends, seniors, peers and juniors whom stood by and the constant encouragement.

Thirdly, I would have chosen to stayed to help out at Hula until school reopen. This way I would be too busy to meet up with ZH so often in the past. Therefore, maybe I wouldn't be so disappointed now for having another "hi-bye friend"

Fourthly, I would have certainly chosen to just shut myself off from you since I didn't even know you. I would have chosen not to say all those beautiful statements to you, since you were just a stranger. I would have chosen not to be there for you. I would have chosen not to open up to you. I would have chosen not to depend so muh on you. I would have chosen not to believe in your words. I would have chosen not to know you at all.

I shall not be so greedy to ask for so many things. All I ask for now is for the ability to get over you. I know it's impossible to get the memories out, all I ask for is to be able to stop thinking of you. That's all I ask for! That's all...

posted at 3:00 AM

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蔡昮佑-我想要说

看着右手被撕裂的伤口
爱好像曾经停留
而我左手按下号码之后
那首属于我的歌不再播送

默写你的爱过
坦承自己脆弱
对白怎么说
表情才不难过

我想要说
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走

那一秒钟
有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后

整夜的风冷得我手颤抖
你在温暖的那头
熟悉路口再一次的路过
等在那角落的人已不是我

默写你的爱过
坦承自己脆弱
对白怎么说
表情才不难过

我想要说
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走

那一秒钟
有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后

我想要说
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走

那一秒钟
有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后

怎么劝我放手
在这一切

posted at 2:29 AM

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Elva Hsiao - 后来的我们

回忆像慢慢远离的车灯
我们都带着悲伤的眼神
剩一个人还能不能
唱出最温暖的歌声
谁爱的比较深

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

爱情是忽然尽头的旅程
我们也只好不舍的转身
而那颗心还能不能
走的像当初般纯真
谁痛的比较深

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

如果爱在我身上留下伤痕
那么不爱更疼

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

posted at 2:14 AM

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Time for me to pick myself up and move on! Hence, I guess this shall be the very last time I will mention about you. Life used to be tough but God sent you to add some colours to my life.

You were like the angel that guarded me from the evil..The soldier that fought off all things that tried to tear me down..The ice cream that I craved for..The toy that accompanies me when I was lonely..The boy-next-door that whom never failed to be there the very moment when I needed you..The clown that always cheer me up..The joker that always made me laughed till my whole body starts to cramp..You were everything I ever need!

Yes! Other than God, you meant the world to me. No more fears of loneliness. No more fears of anxiety. All these were possible then, because I knew you would be there. I trusted those words of yours completely.

I guess I didn't do enough kind acts. Perharps God had decided to take you away from me, and send you over to someone who needs you more, and who is able to pick you up as well. I'm sorry that I failed to help you up anyway.

Off you went back to the far far away land. In the split second, vision was blurred and everything became "black and white" again. This time round, it was worst. Life was meaningless because you were the one who taught me the meaning of it.

I thought keeping a distance from you would help, but you kept popping out and hence, till this very moment, I'm still holding on to those unfulfilled promises. I know that I should stop waiting and move on, I'm trying hard to and I know I can!

I'll move on, but that does not mean I won't think of you. It's because memories are images that are being deeply engraved in my mind, and locked in a corner of my heart. Be it beautiful or unpleasant memories, they'll be part of me no matter where I progress in life, because I know that it's impossible to take those memories out of me.

posted at 10:52 AM

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Someone reminded me of something very important,"Love me,Hate me,I'm glad that I'm always on your mind" Sometimes I wonder why do people always spend so much effort trying to remind themselves how much they hate or dislike someone. They go around telling people how unhappy they are with someone, shows everyone black faces whenever they are being reminded of what the person did that irritated them.

Seriously, ever wonder if you don't bother to wate so much time thinking and getting so frastrated over someone, you would be actually be much happier?? Life would be so much easier if you had just let forgive and forget. You get so pissed off trying to recall why you dislike that person, if you just forgive and forget, you will be able to enjoy the things you are doing instead of being angry. Isn't this so much better??

Whatever it is, before you judge someone, put yourself in that person's shoes. Are you sure that just that particular incident allows you to know his/her character inside out?? I doubt so!!~~ Anyway, sometimes people say that they feel left out, for certain cases, I guess you have to think through it yourself. Think through evry single moment, because I'm sure there's someone who cares, but you were the one who rejected it or neglected it. If you think that people are giving you attitude, or you're starting to lose the friends around you, then do some self-reflection please.

I just feel so unfair that you said all those stuffs. It hurts a lot if you didn't realise! Please, think how everyone tried to treat you nicely and even trying to include you in everything. You were the one who rejected us. Why?? You know it's because of what happened in the past, and you're still living in the shadow of those incidents. I guess it's time you wake up from your ideas nd move on with life. Stop criticising others and think of your own actions, before it's too late when you turn around and find nobody left around you!

Whatever it is, I hope you're sensitive enough to know I'm talking about you! I still regard you as a friend, you're most welcome if you don't mind joining us again.

posted at 3:33 PM

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刘耕宏 - 情画

画上的油彩早已被风干
该怎么来完成我不明白
记忆的图案放在旧货摊
我担心会有谁懂的疼爱

雪白的礼服挂在那等待
淡淡的灰朦有一丝悲哀
教堂门已开而你却不在
玫瑰步道看不到末端

我孤单我不安
思绪被封住了口
黑夜却还是不罢手
强颜欢笑背后
在暗淡中摸索
我祈祷只愿你听得到

从分开到现在
我过的我在习惯
伤痛却依然在扩散
时间不听使唤
为回忆上了锁
这段情我已放不开

雪白的礼服挂在那等待
淡淡的灰朦有一丝悲哀
教堂门已开而你却不在
玫瑰步道看不到末端

我孤单我不安
思绪被封住了口
黑夜却还是不罢手
强颜欢笑背后
在暗淡中摸索
我祈祷只愿你听得到

从分开到现在
我过的我在习惯
伤痛却依然在扩散
时间不听使唤
为回忆上了锁
这段情我已放不开

我孤单我不安
思绪被封住了口
黑夜却还是不罢手
强颜欢笑背后
在暗淡中摸索
我祈祷只愿你听得到

从分开到现在
我过的我在习惯
伤痛却依然在扩散
时间不听使唤
为回忆上了锁
这段情我已放不开
这段情我放不开

posted at 12:24 AM

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Someone started this topic about promise on msn just now. It made me went playing with elmo and being emo again. Oh well, that is just me. Every single thing never fails to let me make a link to you. Hence, I always fail to pick myself up. Argh! Well well, nothing much that I can do until I can find other things to occupy my mind.

Sometimes you don't have to say you promise to make a promise, you know?? Ever heard of people saying, "Don't take back your words"?? I bet you did, because you yourself said it before anyway. What does it mean to you then?? You gave your words and you supposed to keep it. It's what you said to someone. It's what you said you would do! It's just like an unspoken promise!

Whatever it is. Yeah. It no longer matters to me now. You were the one that told me about the passer-by issue and you said you will never be a passer-by in my life, but now you have just made yourself one. Well, you're one passer-by that left the deepest footprint in my life though, the one passer-by that made me so hurt ever.

I realised, everytime you fall and pick yourself up, you're standing on a higher ground. BUT it also means that the next time you fall, you fall from a greater height, which equals to having greater impacts. Well, I know all of you reading, especially you, must be saying "Little girl, this is how life goes!"

You don't have to tell me, I know I have to wake up from my fantasy. Just give me some time, I assure you that I'll be living a life well off better than what I used to have. I assure you that without you in my life, I can achieve much more. Lastly, I assure you that you'll be the one regretting for your actions!

Well. I'm really going to stay away from you for good. In fact, I already tried keeping a distance from you. If you realised, I don't start conversations with you anymore and, I either don't reply or I just gave you those one-word-replies. You know my weak point and you made good use of them I should say, by saying how despressed you are again, and made me said those encouraging stuff to you again and once i replied, you end up being another person. Woah, trying out the art of split personalities?!

You know what?? This trick won't work anymore, because I know that whatever you said are just stories, stories to seek sympathy. I've seen through them. I'm sorry to say this, but you know yourself that you jolly well made up all those stories about why you were so depressed right?! My goodness, I'm truely disgusted by the fact that you can actually make up such stories. Alright, treat it that I was stupid enough to believe and reply you. Whatever, I feel so...Argh!

I know you will read this. Please, I beg you for once, stop all the nonsense and just get out of my life, you passer-by!

posted at 2:01 AM

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Since there was nothing much for me to do, I started doing some self-reflection again. I must say I'm really good at..Good at looking happy when I'm obviously not!!~~ Oh well, that's a plus point =) Talked to a few people online just now, saw the tags on my blog and I seriously, am very touched by all these little actions. You guys might not know, but by just taking the effort to tag, sms or even smile, are encouragements to me.(",)

Sometimes I really hate you, for pulling me up from the deep hole and throwing me back into the same hole, causing a even deeper wound. I was already 90% heal, you came and quicken the process to made me heal and get over everything 100%. But now, you simply inflicted deeper and more wounds on me. Well, perharps because you made me get over the previous fall 100%, that's why I forgotten how I fell. Now conclusion, I fell worst, but the same way as the previous one. Argh! This is horrible.

Whatever. I realised that my life is just filled with passer-by. Everybody just comes and leaves as and when they want. Haix. If you did realise, after a post in this blog, everything started to go back to the emotional me again, because the post was written after I finally realised that the motivation that made me laugh again had left for good.

The previous fall was losing the motivation to make me smile,but I gained the motivation that make me laugh. But now, i lost the motivation that made me laugh, so all I'm left with now is, facade. Oh God, save me! I only wish for a special someone to appear, just one is enough to bring me out of these. I also dun need millions of friends, I just need a few that will stand by me whenever i fall.

I don't wish for many, I just want that few or one.

posted at 1:55 AM