Music Metaphor

2008-06-09T04:44:00.003+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE! =) I know I have disappeared from this blog for quite a long period of time, but yes, I am finally back!! So many things to update on. Haha!

Now, I'm in Year 2, no longer a freshie anymore. Sad to say, I am not in the same class as Ching and Shermaine, but at least we still meet almost more than half the week. Haha! Oh! One great thing about individual projects is that the three of us can do it together. For example, newswriting! =) These two girls make school fun for me. Haha!! I love you both despite all the "suaning and i-dunno-you" jokes. Haha!! =P

Moving on, I guess I have been quite a "chiongster" compared to last year. Thanks to Marcian huh. Haha!! All the be-a-nerd sessions I have with him in school and in the libraries are hell load of fun. Studying and taking breaks by laughing at weird poses of people whom had fallen asleep. Haha!! I know your hair will stand, but my dear alien, HA! You know you rawk my world. =)

Back to my new class, nice people they are. The group of people whom never fails to crack cranky jokes in class, never fails to brighten up our dreadful Thursdays with cupcakes and cookies! Oh! And all the little outings and shopping sprees we all have together. Haha! (",)

Ambassadors! I love XiangWei. Ha! Someone whom makes me look forward to going online. Thanks darling, you never fail to make me smile after talking to you. All your random conversations always pop up at the right time. Haha! You might not know, but yes, you are one of my darling in both mcm and ambass! -Hugs-

YLA! Despite all the stress for running the first ever YLA, I got together with this group of JieMeis. Ha! To the 7 of you, much loves. -Hugs and kisses- Thanks for listening and always sending me those encouraging messages. The whole group of you is the reason for me to stay on. =)

Update and pictures on the outing with Ching and Shermaine soon! =)

2008-01-01T04:52:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!! =)

2008 has finally arrived. I must say that 2007 was not very pleasant for me, in fact, it was a year filled with much dreadful memories. Whatever it is, this post is going to conclude everything in 2007, and I believe and sincerely pray that 2008 will be a great year ahead.

Beginning of 2007, I was busy working full-time in Hula&Co. That was probably one of the happier phrase that I have in 2007. Despite the long working hours, I remember waking up eagerly every morning, looking forward to another day of work. Well, work would not have been that fun and enjoyable if it wasn't for the few darlings =)

JiaEn, Shareen, ShuLing, Susan, XuePing, Kimi! The few lovable darlings that made working so fun for me. I remember all the times that we ran up and down Far East Plaza looking for each other. Haha! All the crying and laughing sessions that we had, all the slacking sessions that we had, all the "scolding-boss" sessions that we had, all the over-time till 2am sessions that we had! Hahaha!! I'm glad that we still remained as close friends even after all of us have quited. =)

Throughout this time, all the way till I entered NP, I will never forget the wonderful moments I had in MG. MG, the place where I made all my close friends. MG, the place where I fulfilled my dream in the musical aspect. MG, the place where I treated as my 2nd home. Well, I'm glad that MG is doing and expanding well now. =)

Then a new chapter of life started! Clemmy seashell, another passer-by?? Anyway, I entered NP Mass Communication and life had been so different since then. Rushing several projects in a semester was definitely not an easy thing to do. Cabbing to school at odd hours like 230am was not a very good experience. Well, friends wise... Hmmmm!

This new semester was certainly much better. At least there are more things for me to be glad for, compared to the terrible ones. There were more activities in Ambassadors for us to participate in, hence gotten to know more wonderful and great friends from all over NP =) Red Camp 4 was definitely a turning point in 2007. All the fabulous friends that I made, friends that I can trust wholeheartedly, friends that I know will not backstab me, friends that I know truly care, friends that I know who will catch me when I fall.

HueiChin and Marcian! Thanks for always being there. I doubt I have to say much more because you guys have heard all these a million times already =X HAHAHAHA!! =)

WeiMing, Vishal, Eugenie, Hannah, Joyce! Thanks for all the fun and laughter, sometimes the preaching too..HAHA =P

WeiLian, Gracia, Abigail, YongMing, Royston, Albert! I really thank God to get to know you guys through Red Camp 4 =) You little kiddos are really wonderful people..HAHA!! =)

To this special group of people who made a drastic difference in my life, thanks =) (P.S: To those of you who were there that night, thanks for standing up for me=) )

School was not that good because I guess I lost a friend that I really treasured a lot due to some misunderstandings? It was really hurting and demoralizing when things started to change on the friendster and blog. Perhaps you are trying to say that everything has come to an end already, but I am still hoping...

Anyway, Shermaine, Ching and Jarrel! Thanks for always being there to encourage me and helping me out with work =) You guys know how important you are to me. You guys know if it wasn't for the 3 of you, I would have already submitted that drop-out letter. Well, I'm really grateful..Really!

Hmmm! I guess as the year as coming to an end, things were starting to get better =) All the wonderful friends and all the gatherings that were held! I hope it's trying to forecast the upcoming year would be a better year ahead. Well, all in all! I guess 2008 will be much better, at least, that's what I have been praying for!

2007-12-18T02:49:00.000+08:00

I love to stay up late not because of computer games or online shopping etc. I just love the silence and calmness in the night. This is the period of time which I know that everybody is sleeping and nobody will be watching, no harsh glares etc. It's the only time when I know I can let myself go, take off the facade and truly be myself for that few hours.

Even until now, I give my trust to people easily, I give my whole heart to treat my friends sincerely. However, many a times people just treat it like dust. Yes! Nobody cherish them. Sometimes, I feel like I am just a mere mannequin, an inanimate object that provides company when it is being needed. Nothing more... Nothing more!

So I use the few hours to take off the mask, and remind myself of whom I am. I realized that if I do not do so, I will lose my self-identity soon...Real soon! So what do I do while immersing myself in the dark?? I would reminiscence. I know we can never turn back time or go back to the past, so yes, I would recall all the pleasant and heartwarming moments spent with everyone.

I always try to relive those moments in my mind because nobody would ever succeed to taint the happy moments that we spent with people around us. You may ask what do I do with those unpleasant ones... I'll try my best to hide them somewhere.

Without fail, in the process of hiding those hurtful memories, it really do not feel good. Well, I can't throw them away because even when memories fade away, they do not disappear and they will always surface again at certain point in time.

Sometimes people seem to not be that bad after all, but in that split second, they would have become complete strangers! I have no idea why, but I am really tired living a life like this...

2007-12-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

Yes! Term break is finally here! This 2 weeks seem so short because of all the assignments and gatherings! Haha =) I'm really looking forward to the Tribe 20 and Ambassadors Christmas gatherings. Talking about Tribe 20, I must say that these kids always never fail to turn my frowns into smiles. Haha! I went to meet them for pool sessions and dinner few days back. Although not all of us were there, I still enjoyed it very much. Haha! Went for shopping spree with HueiChin and I have decided what to give the class, ambassadors and the little kiddos already! =) Christmas has always been the motivation that pulled me through every year, I hope this Christmas would be a nice one though. =X

2007-11-17T03:41:00.000+08:00

After the long chat that we had that night, I thought things will be going back to normal again. However, you added on to the number that proved to me that promises are meant to be broken.

I know that we weren't always around to share your joy and happiness, but we did make it a point to be there when you needed us to share your pain and sorrow. We always try our best to be there for you when you were feeling down during that period of time. I know we might not have been of much help, but we were still there to show you that there are still people who care.

Frankly speaking, I still can't believe that a 2-weeks overseas trip could erase off all that we have gone through together. You said that the thought of giving up any of the friendships did not cross your mind. You said you realized that you neglected the all of us, and you would take initiative to make the relationships better.

So! What happened after that night? The next day, we did have a conversation because... I started a msn conversation with you. After that night? None of us got any news from you, not even a call, sms or msn conversation. There wasn't a single form of communication from you for 2 weeks or so?

I thought something might have happened to you, so I messaged to ask how were you doing. No reply until a few hours later saying that you were catching up with the Vietnam girl. Then no news from you again.

The cycle repeats itself. 2 weeks later, I asked you on msn :" So, you are not going to talk to us for the rest of the time, if we are not going to contact you?" This time round, your reply really gave us a shock. Just a sorry and claiming that you were busy and there were no news from you again.

If the situations were like what you said, then I would like to ask you. How long do you take to type a short sms or start a msn conversation? Including the time taken for you to search for the contacts, I bet this will take you less than a minute. Is it really that difficult to take a minute off to show your friends that you still care? Can't you even sleep a minute later to show your friends that you still bother bother about the friendship?

I don't understand why the one busy revising to retake the few subjects for Os can take the time out to ask the rest of us how are we, but you can't. I don't understand why the one busy working and maintaining the relationship with the boyfriend can take time out to show that she still cares, but you can't. I don't understand why I can take time out to catch up with the rest when I am working after school, when I am in the same poly as you, when I have equally much work to do as you, and when preparation for RED Camp 4 is so intensive, but you can't.

We always wonder what do you take us as, when we got to know that you rather contact ******* than us. Fine, it didn't really bother me that much until we read your blog. You explained to us that you were busy with all those stuff and you really had to settle them, yet we see another side of the story in your entries?

Os is over! I wonder if you even remembered to send your regards and best wishes before your dear friend went in to retake her papers. Whatever it is, just a quick update for you. I think she will do well this time round because she checked and she got most of it right. Oh yes! She went for the checkup and the doctor says that she doesn't have to go for the operation for the backbone anymore. (Provided if you still remember that one of your close friends was about to go for a major operation) Anyway, she is enjoying herself with her family in China now.

The rest of us are doing fine, and we hope you are as well.

2007-11-12T09:49:00.000+08:00

My Lovable Laughing Partner
Happy 17th Birthday To You!! =)
Hope that you'll have a good year ahead and may all your wish come true!!

Yes!! You're still my dearest classmates after all!!(",) Really glad to have lunch together once again that day.. I bet you didn't know..It was really awesome!! Haha =) I promise you a birthday treat soon, alright?? Tell me when are you free yea??(",)

Hope you'll enjoy your day!!
With love =)

2007-10-14T01:32:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been updating for quite some time, but well, fret not! I'm not going to tell old grandma's story. I shall just update on the most recent event, Student Leader Camp! =)

It's a camp for all student leaders of NP to participate in. The main purpose of the camp was for all SLs to get to know each other and bond together before Red Camp 4. I must say that the camp was a success because everybody got to know Sls from all the other schools, and we certainly did bond together as a group.

Anyway, we were separated into 5 tribes, and I happened to be in Vikings! It's great to be in there because all Vikings were nice people. Vikings!! Nice to get to know you people!! =) We braved all the dirty games together, despite getting all dirty and smelly. Haha! Not forgetting how we stayed up all night trying to clear food. WAHAHAHA!

Oh yes! Another memorable thing is having all the SLs learning the mass dance together. Even those that claimed that they can't dance, danced really well. Haha! We planned many things during the camp too, so I'm really looking forward to Red Camp 4!

PL-Lites reading this, do sign up for red Camp 4, alright? =) It's really going to be a blast! Come and experience NP, no harm coming and experience NP for free, right? You get all the fun, and I promise you'll enjoy and learn more before you make your choice!(",)

Take care peeps!

2007-09-17T00:45:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through blogs and when I went to Amirul's link section, I realized that I have a blog that I had not been updating. Haha! I know you're cursing me now, but well, I had chalets after chalets, work after work, I guess that explained well for my disappearance. Chalets make us spend a lot of money, but the times and moments shared there are valuable and you cannot find them anywhere else! Thanks to all those who made my nights so much more enjoyable! =)

2007-09-03T05:38:00.000+08:00

I have too many things that I want to blog, so I guess I'll just blog them out on separate entries. Time now is 538am. I had been sleeping after this time for many days. Ask me why? It beats me too. Ha! Perhaps there are just too many things running in my mind. =)

I went to read my testimonials all over again, 500 over of them. Every single one holds memories of different phrases of my life. Reading them all over again always leave me with a different set of emotions. Sometimes regret, sometimes satisfaction, sometimes... And the list goes on.

Reading those testimonials from PL-Lites always never fails to cheer me up. All the encouragement and affirmation from the seniors, all the motivation and crappyness from the peers and all the appreciation and friendliness from the juniors...

Reading those testimonials from other friends I got to know along the way also, never fails to bring a smile on my face. All the jokes and crazy moments we shared, all the ups and downs we went through together...

Reading those testimonials from current schoolmates also, never fails to make my day. All the care and concern, all the funny and crannky stuff we do...

Yes! All these never fails to make me a happy little girl, but they never fails to make me start playing with another friend of mine, Elmo. You ask why, again? This time round, I can give you an answer. It's because everybody changes and moves on in life, so not every single friendship could withstand it, hence, I'm not so close to some of them now. It's also because I miss all the beautiful memories that I shared with every single one of you.

It's really a pity to see friendships forged throughout the years, being torn apart due to many different reasons. Well, I guess like what others often say, nice things are like flowers that blossom and wither fast. At least everyone's still friends after all, just not as close as before? Haha! Perhaps, I just miss the good old times when I had so many opportunities to meet up or catch up with all of you.

For some, things are still the same actually, it's just that we don't meet up as often as we used to. However, it's always nice to receive texts from these people everyday. It's all these texts that I look forward to everyday. =)

It's so nice to catch up with everyone. Be it just a simple chat on msn or through sms, it just warms my heart. Haha! Sometimes, everybody get so busy with our own stuff and we don't contact for months, but when we meet up, we always behave as if we just met each other the day before. Haha! =)

For some, things are just so different, and it seems like the friendship is gone forever. They are those that I label as passer-by in my life. To the few of you(you know who you're), you're always welcome to walk back into my life!(",)

Anyway, I'm glad to have got to known every single one whom I had met so far. Lastly, sometimes it's just so difficult to meet up due to different schedules, but thanks for always being there, and always holding on to the friendship so dearly =)

I love holidays, because it's when all of us can make time for each other! Anyway, juniors, all the best for Os(",)

2007-08-28T02:37:00.000+08:00

One word to summarize the following entry: Demoralized!

Announcement were made that 70% of the grades for Principles of Marketing Communication is out, so off everyone went to download it.

For some, projects were the main factor that pushed their results up. On the other hand, projects were the main factor that made others' grades dip. Now, all we can do is wait for 14th September, and pray that there will be miracle when we look at our final grades.

Conversations started and we started reflecting, it seems the same for the rest of the modules. Everything were perfectly fine at the beginning, but we all slipped at the very end. It's just so demoralizing when you trip at the very end.

Not that we want to be the best, we know we are not, but it's the amount of effort put in. The amount of sleep and meals sacrificed, staying up for nights and meeting up at 2am just to make sure everything will be completed on time. All these are what made us feel the pain within. That aside, at least all of us made it through! But I guess, for some that did not even put in much effort into the projects should not be receiving the grades they got.

Many agree and often ponders, why we did land ourselves in here. Oh well! Let's all just hang on for a couple more semesters! =X

2007-08-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

Yes! One semester is finally over and I guess next semester would be less taxing than what we just went through. I'm looking forward to it, but that means the worst(year 2) is approaching soon =X

Laughing monsters had a few laughing outings at the same venue! By the way, I guess there's an addition to the number of laughing monsters. Haha! Being motivated by what we learnt so far, we have decided to come up with the Laughing Monsters Production. Hahaha!! Our very first actor in our production is the "Ahhhhh Aunty"! Followed by a "Recycled Food Pizza Crumbs"! For more details, please check out the Laughing Monster Production's Official Website. Haha! =P

Like what many of them have been saying, we had been looking forward to this break, but now when the break is finally here, we ask:" Now what?". Haha! We have been occupied everyday, with school, projects, work, outings and rest. Now when we are only left with work, outings and rest, life just seems to be passing by so slowly, and the feeling of emptiness fills up the atmosphere. Oh well! =(

Just some side notes:
XiWen, thanks for the little gift. I really like it a lot and stop being upset that you bought "repeated stuff" for me, alright? Most of all, your presence during work really brightens up my day! Love ya!! =) Gabriel, working the same shifts as you had always been so fun! Thanks for everything!(",)

2007-08-12T04:48:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to the person who is being blinded by wealth and fame. =X

Well, maybe I should congratulate you about the event that is going to be happening at Heeren later, right? Like woah, after so much hard work you have put in, you're finally releasing your first single debut and having your own event,while helping the charity yea?

Maybe I should also congratulate you for bringing MG to a greater height huh? From a little office in some secluded location to such a well-furnished place in Bugis. From the few of us to such a huge number you have now.

Hey sir! Come and think of it, how did you even manage to get so far? You know it best that you wouldn't be reaping what you have now, if it wasn't for many other people. However, look among the large number of people you have under you now, how many are pioneers?

Most likely, only 2 that are still pro-actively helping out. Come to think of it, you know the reason why, because they have no choice but because of their the-other-halves being huge partners/owner over there.

You dare to hold meetings and talk about people who left you. Reasons for leaving are always they dropped out half way or whatever nonsense you have been spreading. You jolly well know for some cases, you left them with no choice just because they were hanging out with people you didn't like. Worst, for some cases, you left them with no choice just because you felt threatened by their presence!

Hello!! You're already 25 this year, can you please think and behave like an adult? Can you just apply what you have learnt in 25 years of your life? Do not tell me that you have never been taught what is to be grateful or appreciative to help being offered?

I am not trying to claim any honor or credits from you here, I just think that you are really a bastard. A brainless bastard that gave up more than 10years of friendship just to secure your position in MG. A heartless bastard that can spread stuff about people who leave MG just to cover up for the reason how you forced them out of the place. A disgraceful bastard that do so many things that is disloyal to people who loved you.*You know what I mean, you jolly well know you don't deserve the love because of what you have been doing behind her back!*

Yes! You can hold a meeting and start discussing, acting blur and start discussing what did you do to make me hate you so much. You can start sprouting your nonsense in that meeting because it's not the first time that you're doing it anyway!

Mr 25 years old man that behave like a kid, wake up to your sense please! What is with going back to people whom you forced for out help? You said you were short of cash because you were forced to move out in a short notice. My goodness! Then what is with spending $700 just for a PUMA jacket?*If you were smart enough, you could get a nicer looking branded jacket* Then what is with the fact of moving to somewhere with a higher rate that you cannot even afford? Then what is with cabs being your main mode of transport? I guess, these explained the fact about why you claimed you needed help in settling the debts.

Debts! Yes, owing people money and asking other people to clear them for you? You never knew what is responsibility, did you? Always bing impulsive and leaving the mess behind for people to clear and settle for you?

You claimed and told many people that many of us are being ungrateful etc. Seriously, who is being the naive one here? People who left are still keeping in contact, meeting up often and enjoying life as per normal like how we did in the past. We are still sharing problems and being there for each other! Look, who is the one who left us actually?!

There is so much more to be said, but I guess, I shall just be nice and stop here. So Mr J** Ang, I didn't spell your name out not because I have no guts to, but I have no idea what to call you, because, apparently, you changed your name? Oh ya, so yes, I shall be nice and stop here, so you can spend lesser time during the meeting coming up with excuses to cover up for more stuffs.

Last but not least, don't ever claim to be a family with a group of people when you know you jolly well don't care for them like a family will. Yes, the family you used to be in, the family you forced out, is still a family functioning well and strong out here now!

2007-08-12T04:40:00.000+08:00

It is already 440am and I am still here blogging, trying to stop "emoing" and get sleepy. Life had been rather exciting these few weeks. Completion of projects, birthday celebrations and outings were what filled my life!

Well, somethings to rejoyce about are the few people that were once held close to me are back into my life. Haha!! I managed to know and get closer with people whom weren't that close to me in the past. I also got to know a few nice friends as well.

I must say that friends are what make me life meaningful and going =)

2007-08-12T04:37:00.000+08:00

I know it's rather delayed, but I still got to hereby thank all of you for everything you guys have done for my birthday, all the wishes, presents and outings! =) No matter what, everything is being greatly appreciated yea..CHEERZ(",)

2007-08-10T14:25:00.000+08:00

Aha!! =) Harsh sounding entries were all solved after talking things out. That's why I always believed that close friends will always talk things out no matter how harsh things will get. Why?? Because you'll understand each other's point of view and the friendship is stronger after that =)

P.S: Well, girl, I love you still lah..HAHAHA!! =)

2007-08-10T05:34:00.000+08:00

Rush Hour 3 - A show which revolves around betrayal. Came back home, I experienced that myself. Woah! Seriously, I hate you for what you have done, and I mean what I say. So much for the trust and blah blah blah...Everything is going to be different, over!

Hey people out there, don't ever do things you know I will never be happy when I find out! You know once you lose the trust, you'll never get it back yea!

Lose the trust = It's over between you and me =X

2007-08-01T01:57:00.000+08:00

Many things had contributed to the amount of stress I have been under these few weeks. Now finally everything is coming to an end, but I feel lost when things starts to slow down. It seems like I have just adapted to the life of rushing through every seconds, and even 15mins of sleep during breaks were precious. Now, I feel empty having to think what is there to do the next second.

Let me side track a bit. I feel rather retarded having to feel sad and hold on, when now it seems like you don't even care. Whatever it is, why did things have to turn out this way, I have no idea because I thought there was always a way to resolve it.

Back to my main points, I guess I have got to talk to some of the classmates that I have not been talking to since the start of school. Haha!! Well, it's never too late I guess.

Audrey lost her Prada phone today. Oh God, why did the person who found the phone get tempted to keep it for his/her benefits. Anyway, babe, cheer up =)

So many feelings deep within, a tinge of tiredness, a tinge of relieved, a tinge of sadness, a tinge of many other things..Adds up to I shall stop blogging and have my sleep now.

2007-08-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

Gareth Gates - Too Serious Too Soon

I wonder where you where
I wonder what your thinking about tonight
I wonder
Maybe your alone
Maybe you’ve been crying just like me
I wonder
I don’t know why I lost your touch
Maybe I wanted to be loved too much

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

It’s been a rainy afternoon
Now I’m staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

I told you every day

I told you every night in every way
I love you

Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love you
So baby now my life’s a mess
Cause i’m
Cos I couldn’t love you any less

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

It’s been a rainy afternoon
Now I’m staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

Too soon
It’s not right
It’s not fair
It’s in you baby cuts like a knife
What if you were the love of my life

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

We got too serious to soon
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious too soon
I wanted you too love me

It’s been a rainy afternoon
Now I’m staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

2007-07-24T02:27:00.000+08:00

First, thank you Jason for keeping me company these few days! Well, thanks for being so understanding all the time and you're greatly appreciated! =)

Secondly, thank you JieYing for the super early birthday wish that made me realize that I'm turning 17 soon! Yeah! (",)

Back to blogging, I'm glad that I'm much happier now because I have found more and more nice friends!! Getting closer with fellow ambassadors, having meals or signing up for duties together, or even entertaining each other during lectures =P I agree with what Rainbow said, although we might not know each and every single one well, but whenever we meet, we can talk non-stop as if we had been friends for quite some time. Haha! =X

Well! My impression for certain people had changed, for the better!(",) Now, we are closer than before. Meeting before school, going home together, chatting on msn and challenging each other to lame games during lectures!! =X

Hahaha!! Project deadlines are clashing!! Tests and exams are coming!! Argh!! I'm feeling the stress again!! WAHAHAHAH!! Meeting Amirul at 12 to study later on =)

Oh yes!! I serious have no idea why certain people are just so wicked. Haha!! But come to think of it, do they even have any friends around them?? Well well..The few of us are happy with what we have now, a few true friends is better than many strangers who claims to be your friend =P

2007-07-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

Woohooo!! Janice deleted 30+ entries from the blog!! =X Let's start afresh!! =)

2007-07-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

In life, we are bound to meet with many setbacks. Nobody would live a life without any obstacles, but there are many ways we can face these problems. Well, below is a common conversation a man would have with God. =)

A man asked God in his prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus, why do I always feel so sorrowful? Why is my life filled with darkness? All I can see is darkness, nothing else! I seem to be living under the shadow all my life. God, why is this so?!

Later in his dream, God gave him an answer:
My dear child, you have missed out the most important lesson that I am trying to teach you, which is to see the positive way out in life. When you think that your life is in darkness or cast by a shadow, I assure you there is always a way out. Remember, when there is a shadow, it means there is a source of light nearby, the light of hope. Change the way u think and everything will work fine for you, my dear child.

Indeed, no matter what might come our way, we just have to treat these troubles as an inevitable part of life. They are challenges God want us to go through so that we will learn and grow stronger in faith with Him. =)

Try this! When you are forced to overcome an obstacle in future, be flexible and cope with what comes your way with different methods. Imagine yourself as water and the challenges as cups/containers/bottles. When you are being placed in those containers, you can never escape, like it or not, you just have to change yourself and take its shape.

What's there to fear or worry about? You have friends all around you. Friends are wonderful angels that will always be willing to stand by you, and always be there when you are in need. God works through these angels that He had selected to place in your life, so talk to them, listen and see what they have to say or help.

However, life is just like a train that never stop functioning. Just like the train, your life moves on every moment, time waits for no one. In every station, there will be at least someone boarding the train, just like you having to meet at least someone new in different phrases of your life. These people come into your life! Some of these people will stay, but sad to say, some will leave.

Those people in the other cabins are people who are leading the same kind of life as you, but you do not happen to know them. Well, keep the train running! Although there will always be some moments tat the train will be under maintenance or breakdown, which symbolizes you facing problems and troubles in life, friends in the same cabin as you will be there to encourage and gives you moral support. They will help to fix the train and there, you can get going once again!

P.S: Kuku..rebuttal to your entries..Hahaha!! Like finally after so long rite..Lolx!!

2007-07-10T01:08:00.000+08:00

God, thank you for placing wonderful angels into my life. People like Jiaen, Shareen, ShuLing, Sheena, Susan, Charles, Abigail, Esabel, Clement, Alvin, Amirul, Aini, Shermaine, ShuYan, HuiWen, Cherlyn, Ms gan and Mr Tang. Of course, many more of you!! Like I said, every single one of you whom I know are angels yea..Haha!! =)

Well, I'm really grateful especially to those few mentioned up there because some are the ones that brought me to Christ. Some are the ones that never fail to encourage me to return to school when I was down with depression in sec 4. Some are the ones that never fail to fork out time just to help me to catch up with my work so that I can do well for Os. In fact, I can say these to the few of you, without you guys, I won't be where I am and who I am now. =)

Yes! The other some are wonderful angels who are always there for me, no matter rain or shine, they are always within my reach =P Some are the ones that are always just a call away even when it's already past midnight. Some are the ones that always try to listen and understand. Some are the ones that always bring a smile back on my face after buckets of tears. Some are the ones that always help me to get back on my feet when I stumble and fall. To these few of you, every single thing that you all do, every single sms or calls of concerns, every single act to accompany me or be there when I'm down are really greatly appreciated.

I know due to everyone's busy schedule and stuff, it's hard and we have not been meeting up. But well, bumping into each other on the road, and we can still talk, and end up going out together for the rest of the day! Anyway, I just want to say that no matter what, maybe for some of you, we have not been meeting up, just messaging and calling, for some not even these, well, you guys will never be forgotten yea. Like what they always say, you might not be physically there, but I know you are always there when I need you.Haha!

Yea..As for those of you mentioned up there, you guys know how important you all are to me. Hence, I must admit that it hurts sometimes when I thought you guys are the ones that understand me well enough, but yea, apparently misunderstandings occurs and I can't help but feel super hurt when words/actions get harsh.

Well, conclusion is, I miss those of you whom I have not been meeting..Haha!! And thanks for being part of my life =) Meet up soon alrite(",)

P.S:Girl..I hope you do understand now=) And to the few of you, I'll never be too busy to be there if you ever need someone alrite..Still the same..Call =)

2007-07-08T04:21:00.000+08:00

I did not realize that I am starting to have low self-esteem until someone asked me some questions. Oh God, what exactly is happening to me?? I'm lacking confidence in a lot of things, and when I say a lot, it means almost everything. =X

I know I am being dumb, but i just can't help it, but being affected by what's happening around me. I came to know of many who are feeling, or in fact going through, the same thing as me. I know they're affected too, but some seem to be able to not care about what others think and just continue to be themselves, as long as they enjoy what they are doing. However, there are some who are just like me, knowing clearly what's happening and going on, being affected and just trying to stay low-profile, hoping that nothing will happen. =X

Oh well! We all know very well that once it happens, it won't stop. =X But what can we do?? Sit and bear with it! Hmmmm..Some who are reading this know and understand what I am talking about, some won't! Because if they do, perhaps many of us would be happier being ourselves now. =X

Dear God,

I just want to pray for healing to be on all the weakened souls. Lord, we know that words are one of the powerful weapons that Satan uses to tear unguarded souls down. I pray that you would send angels to protect every single one of your children, to guard their hearts, minds and souls from all harmful thoughts, words and actions that try to bring them down.

Lord, we know that we have to love our enemies and neighbors as ourselves. I hereby pray for you, Lord, to give everyone in your kingdom, a more generous heart and a sweet soul, that we may all forgive all who have sinned against you and tried to tear us down, and love them like how we love ourselves.

God, I know that you're the almighty, and you have everything in control. Lord, we know that everything that happen in our lives are your ultimate plan for each and everyone of us, and you only have plans to prosperous and not harm us. Grant us the determination and perseverance, Lord, to press on, for we know you have something magnificent for us to achieve after every obstacle.

Lord, times might get tough but guard our hearts, minds and souls, that in all circumstances, we will honor you and not sin against you or drift away from you. God, we know that we will never be alone, for you will never leave us or forsake us. Everyone might turn their back on us, but you never will.

God, we know all of us are chosen by you before we were even born. All of us are special and created by you. Lord, I pray for your presence to be felt by all the broken-hearted for you're the best peace and joy that anyone could have.

Lord, do your work through your people! Lord, I pray that more people will come to know you as their Lord ans savior. Lord, let the world love one another and not treat each other like enemies. Lord, guard all our hearts, minds and souls, for we know you're the shepherd of our souls! Lord, I pray that no matter what has happened, what is happening, or what is going to happen, you will send your angels to help everyone fight off Satan wh is detroying your wonderful work!

In Jesus' most precious name, I pray.. AMEN

2007-07-04T20:08:00.000+08:00

宇恒 - 依然是朋友

情人节的前一天,他离开你身边
却剩下你到至今的想念

那一夜我陪着你,你哭了一整夜
你是否知道我对他一样很想念

直到有一天我和他碰面
在那间我们常去的咖啡店

才知道有些感受
我和他谁都不曾说出口
我们之间隐藏了什么
除了我自己没人懂

可是你,你怎么说
你知道好事不是从此避开我
哦,我一样难过
多希望我们不曾相识过

那一夜我陪着你,你哭了一整夜
你是否知道我对他一样很想念

直到有一天我和他碰面
在那间我们常去的咖啡店

才知道有些感受
我和他谁都不曾说出口
我们之间隐藏了什么
除了我自己没人懂

可是你,你怎么说
你知道好事不是从此避开我
哦,我一样难过
多希望我们不曾相识过

才知道有些感受
我和他谁都不曾说出口
我们都是最好的朋友
谁会有勇气去开口

不在乎不再难过
我们还有好大好大的天空喔～
故事的最后
我们都不曾失去过什么
我们依然是朋友

我希望我可以让一切过去,依然和你是朋友.

2007-07-04T20:06:00.001+08:00

Tension - 我们的故事

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重

握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走

要记得
我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏

我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃因为有一天缘份会继续
一定会继续

在你左右还要多久
怎么样才能让时间倒流
每一分每一秒都珍重

握紧的手不愿放松
十点半的飞机它在等候
不要再让自己的眼泪流
我必须要走

要记得
我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏

我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃
因为有一天缘份会继续

我知道你寂寞
一个人确实好难过
思念是一种痛
没有你叫我怎么活

身边充满诱惑
不坚定就容易犯错
你是否能看见未来的收获
你愿意再耐心等候

我们的故事真难忘
太多的回忆和希望
不管它有多疯狂
我愿意一生收藏

我们的故事不能忘
太多的情节要发展
不要放弃
因为有一天缘份会继续
让我们一起演完

2007-07-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

I realized that whenever something happens, you'll eventually come back into my mind. Don't try thinking or saying stuff like I am just using you as a tool to make myself cheer up alright, you know that's not what I meant.

Something happened that Monday and I nearly picked up my phone to message you if you are still in school or if you're free. Well, I guess it's somewhat like a habit, and I am still trying to kick off that habit. Haha!!

I guess after so long, I still haven't really got over you. Well, who can get over someone important and someone they cherished and trusted so easily yea. Haha!!

2007-05-27T03:00:00.000+08:00

If God would grant me a wish, I would pray for him to turn back time. In this way, I can change many decisions made, maybe resulting in a happier me whom hurt less people.

I miss the times when I'm still young, being the baby of the whole family, with everyone doting on me like a little princess. I miss the times when I was still on good terms with them.

I miss the times during pre-school to kindergarden period where pure friendships still exist and everyone was still so innocent and naive. I miss the times when everyone's main purpose was just to play and have fun, where no evil thoughts were involved.

I miss the times in primary school when I was still so hardworking, always mugging on my own accords. I miss the times when little conflicts occur but everyone gives and takes, with no evil acts involved.

I miss the times in secondary school when everyone seems so bonded and caring towards each other. I miss the times when teachers are like friends to us, always there whenever we needed them.

Hmmmm! I wish that time could turn back and pass slowly, so I can have more time to treasure those precious moments which I didn't learn to cherish in the past. Another reason is that I want time to turn back so I can make another decision, perharps life would be better.

First, I would have chosen to stay close with the family because they're just wonderful people whom God had given me. I am who I am today, thanks to them =)

Secondly, I would have chosen not to drift away from God at the beginning of last year. Drifting away from him resulted in me having depression for 4months, and hence not going to school regularly from January till April. That period of time was really a terrible experience. Thanks to my family, teachers, friends, seniors, peers and juniors whom stood by and the constant encouragement.

Thirdly, I would have chosen to stayed to help out at Hula until school reopen. This way I would be too busy to meet up with ZH so often in the past. Therefore, maybe I wouldn't be so disappointed now for having another "hi-bye friend"

Fourthly, I would have certainly chosen to just shut myself off from you since I didn't even know you. I would have chosen not to say all those beautiful statements to you, since you were just a stranger. I would have chosen not to be there for you. I would have chosen not to open up to you. I would have chosen not to depend so muh on you. I would have chosen not to believe in your words. I would have chosen not to know you at all.

I shall not be so greedy to ask for so many things. All I ask for now is for the ability to get over you. I know it's impossible to get the memories out, all I ask for is to be able to stop thinking of you. That's all I ask for! That's all...

2007-05-27T02:29:00.000+08:00

蔡昮佑-我想要说

看着右手被撕裂的伤口
爱好像曾经停留
而我左手按下号码之后
那首属于我的歌不再播送

默写你的爱过
坦承自己脆弱
对白怎么说
表情才不难过

我想要说
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走

那一秒钟
有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后

整夜的风冷得我手颤抖
你在温暖的那头
熟悉路口再一次的路过
等在那角落的人已不是我

默写你的爱过
坦承自己脆弱
对白怎么说
表情才不难过

我想要说
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走

那一秒钟
有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后

我想要说
我想要说
如果没有了你
我该如何往下走

那一秒钟
有没有发现我
倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后

怎么劝我放手
在这一切

2007-05-22T02:14:00.000+08:00

Elva Hsiao - 后来的我们

回忆像慢慢远离的车灯
我们都带着悲伤的眼神
剩一个人还能不能
唱出最温暖的歌声
谁爱的比较深

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

爱情是忽然尽头的旅程
我们也只好不舍的转身
而那颗心还能不能
走的像当初般纯真
谁痛的比较深

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

如果爱在我身上留下伤痕
那么不爱更疼

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

从前的我们哭着笑着
都总是两个人
后来的我们就连招呼
都有一点陌生
从前的我们哭着笑着
都相信会永恒
后来的我们为什么不能

2007-05-21T10:52:00.000+08:00

Time for me to pick myself up and move on! Hence, I guess this shall be the very last time I will mention about you. Life used to be tough but God sent you to add some colours to my life.

You were like the angel that guarded me from the evil..The soldier that fought off all things that tried to tear me down..The ice cream that I craved for..The toy that accompanies me when I was lonely..The boy-next-door that whom never failed to be there the very moment when I needed you..The clown that always cheer me up..The joker that always made me laughed till my whole body starts to cramp..You were everything I ever need!

Yes! Other than God, you meant the world to me. No more fears of loneliness. No more fears of anxiety. All these were possible then, because I knew you would be there. I trusted those words of yours completely.

I guess I didn't do enough kind acts. Perharps God had decided to take you away from me, and send you over to someone who needs you more, and who is able to pick you up as well. I'm sorry that I failed to help you up anyway.

Off you went back to the far far away land. In the split second, vision was blurred and everything became "black and white" again. This time round, it was worst. Life was meaningless because you were the one who taught me the meaning of it.

I thought keeping a distance from you would help, but you kept popping out and hence, till this very moment, I'm still holding on to those unfulfilled promises. I know that I should stop waiting and move on, I'm trying hard to and I know I can!

I'll move on, but that does not mean I won't think of you. It's because memories are images that are being deeply engraved in my mind, and locked in a corner of my heart. Be it beautiful or unpleasant memories, they'll be part of me no matter where I progress in life, because I know that it's impossible to take those memories out of me.

2007-05-11T15:33:00.000+08:00

Someone reminded me of something very important,"Love me,Hate me,I'm glad that I'm always on your mind" Sometimes I wonder why do people always spend so much effort trying to remind themselves how much they hate or dislike someone. They go around telling people how unhappy they are with someone, shows everyone black faces whenever they are being reminded of what the person did that irritated them.

Seriously, ever wonder if you don't bother to wate so much time thinking and getting so frastrated over someone, you would be actually be much happier?? Life would be so much easier if you had just let forgive and forget. You get so pissed off trying to recall why you dislike that person, if you just forgive and forget, you will be able to enjoy the things you are doing instead of being angry. Isn't this so much better??

Whatever it is, before you judge someone, put yourself in that person's shoes. Are you sure that just that particular incident allows you to know his/her character inside out?? I doubt so!!~~ Anyway, sometimes people say that they feel left out, for certain cases, I guess you have to think through it yourself. Think through evry single moment, because I'm sure there's someone who cares, but you were the one who rejected it or neglected it. If you think that people are giving you attitude, or you're starting to lose the friends around you, then do some self-reflection please.

I just feel so unfair that you said all those stuffs. It hurts a lot if you didn't realise! Please, think how everyone tried to treat you nicely and even trying to include you in everything. You were the one who rejected us. Why?? You know it's because of what happened in the past, and you're still living in the shadow of those incidents. I guess it's time you wake up from your ideas nd move on with life. Stop criticising others and think of your own actions, before it's too late when you turn around and find nobody left around you!

Whatever it is, I hope you're sensitive enough to know I'm talking about you! I still regard you as a friend, you're most welcome if you don't mind joining us again.

2007-05-04T00:24:00.001+08:00

刘耕宏 - 情画

画上的油彩早已被风干
该怎么来完成我不明白
记忆的图案放在旧货摊
我担心会有谁懂的疼爱

雪白的礼服挂在那等待
淡淡的灰朦有一丝悲哀
教堂门已开而你却不在
玫瑰步道看不到末端

我孤单我不安
思绪被封住了口
黑夜却还是不罢手
强颜欢笑背后
在暗淡中摸索
我祈祷只愿你听得到

从分开到现在
我过的我在习惯
伤痛却依然在扩散
时间不听使唤
为回忆上了锁
这段情我已放不开

雪白的礼服挂在那等待
淡淡的灰朦有一丝悲哀
教堂门已开而你却不在
玫瑰步道看不到末端

我孤单我不安
思绪被封住了口
黑夜却还是不罢手
强颜欢笑背后
在暗淡中摸索
我祈祷只愿你听得到

从分开到现在
我过的我在习惯
伤痛却依然在扩散
时间不听使唤
为回忆上了锁
这段情我已放不开

我孤单我不安
思绪被封住了口
黑夜却还是不罢手
强颜欢笑背后
在暗淡中摸索
我祈祷只愿你听得到

从分开到现在
我过的我在习惯
伤痛却依然在扩散
时间不听使唤
为回忆上了锁
这段情我已放不开
这段情我放不开

2007-05-02T02:01:00.000+08:00

Someone started this topic about promise on msn just now. It made me went playing with elmo and being emo again. Oh well, that is just me. Every single thing never fails to let me make a link to you. Hence, I always fail to pick myself up. Argh! Well well, nothing much that I can do until I can find other things to occupy my mind.

Sometimes you don't have to say you promise to make a promise, you know?? Ever heard of people saying, "Don't take back your words"?? I bet you did, because you yourself said it before anyway. What does it mean to you then?? You gave your words and you supposed to keep it. It's what you said to someone. It's what you said you would do! It's just like an unspoken promise!

Whatever it is. Yeah. It no longer matters to me now. You were the one that told me about the passer-by issue and you said you will never be a passer-by in my life, but now you have just made yourself one. Well, you're one passer-by that left the deepest footprint in my life though, the one passer-by that made me so hurt ever.

I realised, everytime you fall and pick yourself up, you're standing on a higher ground. BUT it also means that the next time you fall, you fall from a greater height, which equals to having greater impacts. Well, I know all of you reading, especially you, must be saying "Little girl, this is how life goes!"

You don't have to tell me, I know I have to wake up from my fantasy. Just give me some time, I assure you that I'll be living a life well off better than what I used to have. I assure you that without you in my life, I can achieve much more. Lastly, I assure you that you'll be the one regretting for your actions!

Well. I'm really going to stay away from you for good. In fact, I already tried keeping a distance from you. If you realised, I don't start conversations with you anymore and, I either don't reply or I just gave you those one-word-replies. You know my weak point and you made good use of them I should say, by saying how despressed you are again, and made me said those encouraging stuff to you again and once i replied, you end up being another person. Woah, trying out the art of split personalities?!

You know what?? This trick won't work anymore, because I know that whatever you said are just stories, stories to seek sympathy. I've seen through them. I'm sorry to say this, but you know yourself that you jolly well made up all those stories about why you were so depressed right?! My goodness, I'm truely disgusted by the fact that you can actually make up such stories. Alright, treat it that I was stupid enough to believe and reply you. Whatever, I feel so...Argh!

I know you will read this. Please, I beg you for once, stop all the nonsense and just get out of my life, you passer-by!

2007-05-01T01:55:00.001+08:00

Since there was nothing much for me to do, I started doing some self-reflection again. I must say I'm really good at..Good at looking happy when I'm obviously not!!~~ Oh well, that's a plus point =) Talked to a few people online just now, saw the tags on my blog and I seriously, am very touched by all these little actions. You guys might not know, but by just taking the effort to tag, sms or even smile, are encouragements to me.(",)

Sometimes I really hate you, for pulling me up from the deep hole and throwing me back into the same hole, causing a even deeper wound. I was already 90% heal, you came and quicken the process to made me heal and get over everything 100%. But now, you simply inflicted deeper and more wounds on me. Well, perharps because you made me get over the previous fall 100%, that's why I forgotten how I fell. Now conclusion, I fell worst, but the same way as the previous one. Argh! This is horrible.

Whatever. I realised that my life is just filled with passer-by. Everybody just comes and leaves as and when they want. Haix. If you did realise, after a post in this blog, everything started to go back to the emotional me again, because the post was written after I finally realised that the motivation that made me laugh again had left for good.

The previous fall was losing the motivation to make me smile,but I gained the motivation that make me laugh. But now, i lost the motivation that made me laugh, so all I'm left with now is, facade. Oh God, save me! I only wish for a special someone to appear, just one is enough to bring me out of these. I also dun need millions of friends, I just need a few that will stand by me whenever i fall.

I don't wish for many, I just want that few or one.

2007-04-28T16:24:00.000+08:00

Tamia - Almost

[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

[Verse 2]
I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say I shoulda grabbed you up and never let you go
I shoulda went out with you
I shoulda made you my bop boy
Yes that's one time I shoulda broke the rules
I shoulda went on a date
Shoulda found a way to escape
Shoulda turned a almost into
If it happend now its to late
How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real
And if it didn't happen why does my heart feel

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

[Verse 3]
(sometimes I wanna rub ya, some nights I wanna hug ya)
And you seem to be the perfect one for me
You (some nights I wanna touch ya but tonight I wanna love ya)
You're all that I ever wanted
And you're my everything yes its true
Boy its hard to be close to you
My love
I know it may sound crazy
But I'm in love with you

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there (sometimes I wanna rub ya)
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce (but tonight I wanna love ya)
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said its impossible to miss when you never had
Never, never almost had you (but tonight I wanna love ya)

2007-04-28T16:18:00.000+08:00

Tamia - Officially Missing You

Hmm...
Ooh...ooh...

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me why’d you have to go
‘Cause this pain I feel it won’t go away
And today I’m officially missin’ you

I thought that from this heartache, I could escape
But I’ve fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today I’m officially missing you

Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I’m officially...

All I do is lay around, 2 years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all, I don’t know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say, baby, safe to say
that I-I’m officially missin’ you

Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I’m officially

Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby
But I see there’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way to let go of you

Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I’m officially...

It’s official
Hoo, you know that I’m missin’ you, yeah, yes
All I hear is raindrops, oh, yeah
And I-I’m officially missin’ you

2007-04-28T16:03:00.000+08:00

Faith Hill - Cry

If I had just one tear
Running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope
Maybe I'd get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your exspense
Maybe all my misery
Would be well spent...yeaaaa

Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that your feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

If your love could be caged, honey, I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt and those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be fine

And you'd cry a little
Die just a little
And baby I would feel just a little less pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

Give it up baby
I hear your goodbye
Nothin's gonna save me
I see it in your eyes
Some kind of heartache
Darlin give it a try
I don't want pity
I just want what is mine

Yeah.. Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

Cry just a little for me
Could you cry just a little for me?

2007-04-26T02:20:00.000+08:00

I'm trying hard to move on. I'm trying real hard to pick myself up again, without any help this time! It's really tough though. When I'm finally feeling slightly better, things that will rake up the past just pass by me again. They always never fail to make me fall back to the original spot or fall even deeper.

I tried to keep myself away from all sorts of things that will make me fall back, but I can't control your side though. I can't bring myself to tell you not to do those craps and nonsense, but I did drop hints, it's just that you thought those hints were jokes.

I know this contradicts! I know, I really really know! You guys don't have to tell me how stupid or dumb I am, because I know! I know I'll feel more hurt this way, I know I'll take a even longer time to pick myself up this way, but it's even more hurting to bring myself to really keep a distance.

Never mind. At least I know there are friends that will cheer me up when I'm feeling down =)

2007-04-15T12:55:00.000+08:00

People often says that every mistake made, we'll have to live our lives in regret, because they're irreversible. But come to think of it, is there really nothing we can do about it?? Is wallowing and soaking ourselves in depression and misery the only way out when too much hurt is inflicted on us?? Is there really no chances of healing a broken heart??

Nothing is impossible because I M POSSIBLE =) When there's a will, there's a way!!(",) For the above questions, the answer is they're not true!! It's true that once we commit a mistake, consequences that lead to it do make us feel regretful and there's nothing like turn back time.

But we can always do things to make up to the mistake we commited. Do something about it to change things to the better, why dwell in regrets when you can actually live out of it if you do something about it, right?? =)

Same for sinking into depression! Yes, the amount of pain everyone goes through is different. Nobody will know the hurt you're going through better than you do. Nobody will ever understand fully how hurt you are because they're not the one that went through the situation like you did. Even if the same situation were to hit another person, the reaction and feelings involved will be diffferent because you're you, nobody can ever be like you. You're unqiue =)

But why sink into depression when you know your smile would mean the whole world to someone out there. You might not know, but someone might have fallen in love and can't do without your smile(",) I'm sure many of you heard the story about a smile that saved the suicidal thought of a young child.

In fact, sinking into depression is because you are wallowing in self-pity! You find that you're given unfair treatment by someone dear to you. Yes, you can feel unfair, but why take revenge on yourself?? Isn't that very silly?? Someone had hurt you so deeply but you end up hurting yourself even more??

Look beyond the hurt and you'll learn many precious lessons. Want to take revenge on those that had hurt you deeply?? There's a good way. Be nice to those that hurt you because you won't feel bad but they do!!(",)

Never take revenge on yourself, and of course never take revenge on others. You know why?? It's tiring to hate someone, what's more to plot a revenge against them. You know the hurt you been through, why pass it on to another person right?? =) So..wallowing in your feelings is just simply self-pitying, it's not good after all(",)

Who says nothing can heal a broken heart??!! This is certainly not true. Yes! There will be scars no matter how hard you try to salvage the heart, but the scars are reminder for you not to commit the same mistake ever again. If there scars are not there, how would you ever remember all the precious experiences you went through?? Then how is it possible to prevent you for committing the same mistake ever again??

There're many scars inflicted on everyone's heart. But the scars will never be the same(",) Pick yourself up after a fall. How?? By falling again!! But let the scar from the previous fall reminds you not to fall the same way as you did the previous times =)

2007-04-15T04:04:00.000+08:00

Most of us often lead such a quick-paced life that we hardly slow down to appreciate the surroundings or even to even look at things we're walking past. We often just focus on the things we want to see or obvious enough to be seen, the destiny we're heading towards or the goal we're striving for, that we so often neglect the beautiful things happening around us.

Take for example a student. We take the same route to school almost everyday, but do we often know exactly what is along that route?? ASk students who take the same route what had they seen along the way, many of them give the same answers like trees, cars! Now, here's an analogy! A boy needs to walk through a forest before he can get home. Everyday without fail he would walk through the same forest, but everyday, fifty trees are being chopped off. However, the little boy didn't notice any difference until one day when he was walking home, he thought he got lost because the forest area around his house had been cleared.

This is how sad life can get! We always just focus on getting things done quickly that we often lose attention on the other important things around us like friends, family, love etc. until we lose them one by one! Now, why not slow down your pace and take a break! Start observing things around you and you'll even realise the slightest difference that happens at home, like this is the pencil marking I used to mark my height! Now I had grown so tall! =)

Don't just look at things you want to see or things that are obvious enough to be seen. Look beyond it, and you're see a nicer and clearer picture of life! =) you have to have the patience at times to wait for the best answer! Do not rush for things that are worth waiting! For instance, mimosa are just plants that grow among the grass. If you walk so quickly, you might not even have notice that they do bear pink flowers! =) Give everything time because good stuff are worth the wait(",)

In life, everyone will have their turn to be taken granted for! Come to think of it, instead of being depressed that someone took you for granted, why not look at it this way that there's someone out there that you took for granted too??(",)

Same logic, we're so focus on our aims that we often neglect the most important things in our lives. Perharps the person who took you for granted has fixed his/her eyes too closely to the things he/she wanted and didn't felt your importance at the time because you were always there for him/her no matter no or shine! Hence, it's only after your absence did he/she felt the difference because you are no longer there to provide him/her the shelter she had always been under!

This is a common mistake for everyone! Forgive and forget and things will be so much easier. Why feel taken granted for when we know we're the willing party that wanted to give our loved ones like family friends lovers etc the best that we could??!! It's a blessing that you're able to give, count yourselves! Ever heard before, it's more blessed to give than to receive?? =)

For a reason or another, humans always tell lies! Even if it's white lie, it's still a lie after all =) But did we ever realise?? We can fool the rest, but we can't fool ourselves. Yes! So always remember to be truthful to ourselves because we have to face the real us before we can change and evolve to a better us =)

Many people often try to get opinions from others before they make any decisions. But did we ever realise that there's already a decision in our mind before we asked them for opinions?? So what are opinions exactly for?? They're just what others think, feel or react to the particular situation.

Sometimes if possible, especially for matters close to heart, it's best that you listen to what your heart wants and follow it. Focus on the situation, list out the pros and cons and you weight them yourselves which side is heavier! You know what you want, but you also know it best what is best for you! That's when you decide whether you want to follow your heart(desires/hope/dreams) or your mind(the practical and logical solutions to your problem)

Friends are just there to guide you along the way. They are people who helps you develop your mind in planning for a better solutions. Keep in mind that nobody knows you better than yourselves. Decisions are still yours to make! Think carefully before you make any choice because you wouldn't want to lead a life filled with any regrets and you can't blame anyone for the consequences, because after all, it's you who made the choice =)

2007-04-15T03:42:00.000+08:00

Just came home not long ago after stoning, came online and talked to people who are still online. Yeap, although it's weird being there, but I still attended the celebration. When I reached, it was just in time for photo-taking and cake-cutting, but still upon arrival, we were given such a warm welcome!

Took the group photo, talked for awhile and off we went. Yes, it was a memorable farewell too! Jiaen went home and I went to look for clemmy angel in the seashell at Esplanade! That's when two kids started playing with elmo =)

We sat at near the water!!(",) Both had a fun time sharing and listening!! Guess what!! We started playing with water and this woman came and approach us for phototaking service =) We had a hard time understanding what the lady was trying to say, but we did enjoy ourselves doing retarded actions. Haha!! =X

The lady showed us the pictures taken and MY GOODNESS!! I realised how shag and tired I look. Haha!! Supposed to be nice photos but haix..Too tired lah! Haha!! =) Then the lady asked so many funny things about us. Funniest thing was she even tried to infer our characters, but I think she's quite right about our character but she got the wrong idea though. Haha!! =X

Off we went for a walk and went for supper!! It's home sweet home after all, at least for him =)

P.S: The lasy told me a secret about kuku..Haha!! Interesting one though =)

2007-04-15T03:12:00.000+08:00

Actually I'm really very touched and felt so guilty towards my parents. This is the first time they left me at home alone for such a long period of time, so i guess they were equally worried as I am.

We had our family dinner just now before I left for the party. Everyone took a seat except my mum. She was busy roaming around the house trying to do her best to make sure everything is in place for me.

First, she started early in the afternoon packing my room, changing the bed covers and stuff. Reminding me that I have to separately wash coloured clothes and white shirts. Off she went to the kitchen, clearing all the products that might turn back if I never use them because she was afraid that they will start smelling and I won't know how to wash off the smell.

She boiled and filled up 5 bottles of 1.5L of water to put in the fridge because she knows that I only take cold drinks. She also replenish shampoo, soap and stuff for me, being afraid I might not know where she kept them. She even replenished tissue boxes for me.

Argh!! Then she reminded me to buy milk when they run out because she knows I won't eat before going out or in fact I won't eat at home. Haha! Haix.

My emotions are like toads jumping up and down and making lots of noises within me. Haix! Everything seems so unsettled and I'm really in a lost. Haha!! =X

2007-04-14T18:13:00.000+08:00

Woke up very early to prepare myself to go to the bank to settle some paper work with my sister. Off we went to NP to get the laptop stuff done, but guess what, it's close??!! Wasted a trip there but treated my sister to a meal at MACS =)

Naggings for wasting her time on the way to macs. She had to go back home to settle her stuff so we went on separate ways. I took this empty bus and suddenly a freaky old indian man came and sit beside me. There were so many empty seats but he chose to sit beside me is already freakying me out!

He started to sit closer and closer, his arms touching my arms, so I took my bag and placed it in between our seats so at least there's abit of distance??!! Then he started to stare at me! That's the time I cannot stand it! Hair started standing and I was really hoping for a saviour!

Prayed real hard he won't do anything funny. Guess what!! He started to bend down and dunno do what kuku stunts lah! I was wearing skirt, so I quickly take my jacket out and cover! Haha!

Then this old uncle came to my rescue by scolding him and asking him to move to the back seats. Haha! It was really frightening! Reminded me of unpleasant incident that happened when I was in secondary school. Hmmmm! Maybe that's why I over-reacted? But which girl won't be freaked out when this is like happening to them. Never mind. It's me, my own reaction =)

Parents leaving with my uncle in a few hours time. It's the first time I'm feeling lost without them. Maybe it's because this time round they'll be away for real long and I really have to survive on my own. Worried for my uncle's operation too. I hope it will go on smoothly.

Supposed to be at LiJun's 21st birthday party already, but I decided to stay at home for dinner with them before going. I won't know what the future holds, so I better cherish this chance to have dinner with them, especially my uncle. It might be the last meal I can have with him, there might be more to come. I really don't know.

He's worried, I know. But right now, he's happily talking to my family in the living room, joking and laughing all the way. Sudden silence might occur but new topics will be created. I can feel the tension there, that's why I can online to blog.

Blogging helps to release some of my stress because I know there are so many of you out there reading, and I know you guys are always here for me =) Hmmmm. My uncle's behaviour now really reflects my own attitude.

Always smiling, laughing and joking away when deep inside me, there's always this bit of me being so worried, lost or depressed. Always putting up that smile when I'm with my friends so they won't have to worry much. Always hiding and holding back my tears when I'm with my friends so they won't be worried if I'll still be sobbing when I reach home.

Seriously, I'm starting to have tears rolling in my eyes now. Haha! Looking at the time nearing for them to leave, the more worried I get. I'm afraid of things that will happen when they leave. I'm afraid I can't handle things on my own when they're not around. I know this is what I have always wanted, to be independant and not rely on them, but that's because I know no matter what happens, I still have them to fall on.

But now, it's different. I really have to depend on myself now. The last month without them was bad enough, now it's three to six months! Well, no choice after all. I won't want them to be back so soon because it'll mean another tragedy that my uncle had left us?? Hmmmm. I'm really confused inside out.

It'll be another feeling when I go for the birthday celebration later. It'll be a broken promise if I didn't go, so of course I'll certainly pop by and wish her a Happy Birthday.

Although it's just an hour that I'll be staying over there, but it's the thought at heart that counts. it's the presence there not the duration that counts too. =)

Whatever it is, I won't stay there and look at how fake some people can get. I won't want to stay there and start listening to all the craps that some of them will say. I won't want to stay there and look at how hypocritical people really are, because I know the truth, I won't see things lying in this way.

So I better take my leave before I start to confront you about everything and destroy the party or something. I'm praying real hard now that you won't show me any attitude when I leave earlier or say anything because you know that if you ever do, I'll really shoot the truth at you this time round.

In fact, wanted to get someone else to go with me, so I can have excuse to leave earlier. However, I have totally no idea who to bring alone, so i guess. Hmmmm! It's going to be alright.

2007-04-14T00:33:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blog again =) Watched the movie and I felt alot for it. It's really a nice show worth watching, so if you haven't catch it, bring your friends along to watch this nice movie with you(",)

Before the show start, there was this thriller about Spiderman. From there I gained an inspiring quote! It goes something like -Heros are given a chance to face darkness or be consumed by it- Nice isn't it??

All of us are heros in our own lives. Problems and obstacles are just like darkness invading our life, taking away our bright future!! =) But you know what?? We have a choice, but we all know the best is just to face it rather than to escape from it, because we know we can't escape from reality =) Remember there's always a light at the end of every tunnel =)

Now the movie! Seeing how people plot against each other, killing each other, hiding their ugly selves with terrible methods, really pains my heart! At points of the movie I felt like crying, heartaching like mad!

Although it's just a movie, but it's matters so close to our hearts! Maybe it's just not murders, but backstabbing or even trying to tarnish other's reputation. People now still tries to cover up their wrong-doings with lies or even trying to let others pay the price for them.

Betrayal was also featured in the movie. But in the show I learnt this too. It's through betrayal that we learn our lessons and realise who are the ones who we can trust and fall on =) So behind every unhappiness, there's always something great we gain..No pain, no gain!(",)

Conclusion, everyone single person that pass by your life is important! Your family for bringing you up to see this wonderful world, your friends who brought joy and laughters, buddies who are always there no matter rain or shine, people who hurt you so deeply because they let you learnt and grow alot! Teachers who taught us all the valuable knowledge, even a little kid that walk pass you with a lovely smile that brightens up your day =)

Give thanks for everyone who left their footprints in your life =)

2007-04-13T23:29:00.000+08:00

Last night was the earliest night I went to bed! Reason being I had to wake up early in order to meet Esabel to go for FMS One-Day Orientation, and of course I cannot stand two people bugging me so off i went to bed =X Just joking =)

Guess what, I fell asleep at around 1230 because I learnt a new way of relaxing your mind to allow yourself to fall asleep easier! =) However, got woken up several times by stunting messages of this kuku guy. It's just too bad, I doubt I'll accept him because I don't want to be digging my own grave. Haha!

Slept only for a few hours and off I am to school with Esabel. Two blur sotongs losing their way in our new school campus. Asked around for direction and seniors lead us to a totally opposing way??!! It's then when we freaked out and a lecturer came by and provided us the right direction!! =)

Bump into quite alot of PL-Lites along the way. Although we are split into different courses and classes, but I made new friends! Chloe, XinYi, Dawn and many more (",) I'm sure the class will get lively soon! =)

After orientation was another round of orientation by clemmy angel in a seashell!!~~ Hahaha!! =) Brought me to print my timetable and getting my books. I felt like some primary kids though, being so blur at some obvious stuff. Haha!! =P

After that, went to explore outside school area!!~~ Weet!!~~ This is the most fun orientation i ever attended!! Thanks dude!! Sushi treat at Holland Village's Sushi Tei!! Choc Frap with cream treat at town!! Movie <> at cine!! But I feel so evil =X

Oh yes!! Chloe having the same phone as me as well! Haha! Cool isn't it =) Anyway, swapped phone with kuku clem before we went home because he wanted the black phone?? Hahaha!! Funny guy lah.. But yes!! It's a happy day!!~~

2007-04-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

梁咏琪- 原来爱情这么伤

我睁开眼睛却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想时间变得更漫长
也与你有关否则又开始胡思乱想

我日月无光忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上现在空了一个地方

原来爱情这么伤比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强道理全是一样
说的时候很简单爱上后却正巧打乱

我日月无光忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上现在空了一个地方

原来爱情这么伤比想象中还难
泪水总是不听话幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强道理全是一样
说的时候很简单爱上后却正巧打乱

只想变的坚强
强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤
只要学会抵抗

原来爱情这么伤
原来爱情是这样
这样峰回路转
泪水明明流不干瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
有一天终于打完思念的一场战
回过头再看一看原来爱情那么伤
下次还会不会这样

2007-04-12T19:06:00.000+08:00

阿沁 - 其实还爱你

我讨厌阴天的风
冷得那么刺痛每一夜闭上眼睛
只有你能够抚平所有的寂寞

昨天的风筝在角落
被谁丢到了路口
我很不想让你找到离开的理由

每一夜闭上眼睛
我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我

天空切开一道裂缝
直接割到我心中
不想装作脆弱
也不想爱得懦弱

其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意
你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心

我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句其实还爱你

每一夜闭上眼睛
我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我

天空切开一道裂缝
直接割到我心中
不想装作脆弱
也不想爱得懦弱

其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意
你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心

我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句其实还爱你

可不可以任性求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句其实还爱你

2007-04-12T14:56:00.000+08:00

-645am- *Rolling around my bed* Started to feel really tired after working out my brain for so long, thinking of the things that happened since young, especially those things that are such wonderful memories.

Most of the flashbacks were the memories of you though, all the sweet old times we had chatting, hanging out together with the other two girls! Then this sudden thought that I should go online since I cannnot fall asleep came into my mind. However, I fell asleep after all the tears. I must admit, it's really tiring to play with elmo!

I guess I was so tired that I only woke up at 150pm, when sun started to really shine on my face! Haha!

-May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the ass of the person who screws up your day and may his arms grow too short to scratch his ass! Gd morning=) -

A message that brought smile to my face straight after I woke up. Haha! Quickly, I washed myself up and I got so stunt when I looked in the mirror! Haha! My eyes were like puffer fish! Wanted to turn around and quickly rushed back into my room but I bumped into my mum.

She gave me a stunt look and asked what's wrong with my eyes. Haha! It's then that I knew the amount of tears shed last night! =) Off I went into my room and started to do blog-hopping, surt the net and chatting with people.

Saw messages sent to me when I went offline. Sweet messages like, u know you could have called me last night, i would have answered your call u know =), i will always be your frend ya...so no fear of imposing, buddies for life, hey gal are you feeling better, you know you have us around yea! Again it was all these messages that brought smile to me!(",)

Thanks alot my dear friends =) All the little concern cheered me up a little(",) Went to read clemmy seashell's blog and saw a very inspiring post. "The bungee rope are all the encouragements and friends who provided all the support, during this period of time." All my friends here, you guys are like the bungee rope tied strongly to me. Thanks for pulling me back whenever I fall from a great height =)

After that, saw his nick and went to read his blog. Woah! Disappointment again. Told Jiaen about it and she started screaming over msn. Haha! But I have nothing to say as well. You know I'll still keep my promise to be there whenever you need me. You know I'll still keep my promise to listen whenever you're down. You know I'll keep my promise to be there when you feel like crying. But I doubt you'll even remember that you still have these promises with me. I guess, when you really need someone, you won't even remember having us, this group of friends who helped you along for the past few months.

Listening to songs and tears welling up in my eyes when the lyrics hit me at the right spot. Heh! =) I'm glad that I'm able to shed tears again. It was so terrible last time when your heart is aching so badly that sometimes you even find it so hard to breathe, but no matter how hard you try, but tears just can't seems to be squeezed out! That was also the period of time when it seems that I'm numb to almost everything.

If something happens, I know I feel the pain, but I seem to be numb towards it because it just don't seems that serious compared to what I went through?? Something like you lost a precious gift which only cost $1, then you realised that you lost your wallet the next day, you feel the pain, but it can't be compared to the pain of losing that precious gift althought it only costed $1.

I have no idea how to express it out, but whatever it is, try to understand it if you can, or else just forget about it. I don't even know what I'm feeling exactly. Haha! =) A smile after I woke up and that's it. Off I went to play with elmo again!!~~ =(

2007-04-11T22:45:00.000+08:00

Vivian - 好眼泪坏眼泪

我曾认真深爱著一个人
他给我幸福的可能
我等我问未来何时发生
他只是给我一个吻

快乐我哭是因为你的手
曾答应带我向前走
难过我哭是因为我的手
找不到你说的以後

好眼泪坏眼泪
我都曾为你流
感动和悲伤都是理由
只不过在你不再爱我了以後
像坏的眼泪慢慢流

快乐我哭
是因为我付出得到你温柔的答覆
难过我哭是因为我认输
你的心永远留不住

好眼泪坏眼泪
我都曾为你流
感动和悲伤都是理由
只希望在我不再想你了之後
有好的眼泪慢慢流

好眼泪坏眼泪
我都曾为你流
感动和悲伤都是理由
只希望在我不再想你了之後
有好的眼泪慢慢流
有好的笑容陪著我

2007-04-11T18:07:00.000+08:00

I woke up early today and decided to stay home to do some reflections. Stayed in my room and started to dig things out from every corner. Firstly was letters! Reading letters one by one really bring me back to old times and remind me of some close friends that I had lost contact with.

Although I felt some disappointment having to lose contact with those wonderful friends, but at least I managed to keep wonderful memories! Letters from primary school friends reminded me of the innocent period of school life! All the cheeky stuff we used to do. Girls ganging up to fight with the guys at basketball court after school, having to bluff our parents to go out together, having a bonded class where we all treated each other like real brothers and sisters etc. To be honest, I'm really glad that I'm still being able to be in contact with most of my primary school friends!

Letters from secondary school friends! Comparing them with the letters i read just now, really shows that secondary school was really a huge jump from primary school! Reading the letters really reminded me of seniors who had always been around me to guide and advice me, juniors who had always been ever so supportive of every decision made, and of course peers who had always been standing by to help and lend their hands! I'm proud to say I'm still in contact with almost all my secondary school friends! =) Even seniors who had graduated 3 years ago!(",)

Then i started to look at msn conversations that I saved, sms that are still kept in my phone, email in my inbox, now I have new group of friends who are always there for me when I needed someone to talk to, someone to lean on!

Most of all, the important lesson I learnt through this first session of reflection is that since young, everyone already started to have different kind of problems! Every period that we go through, there's bound to be obstacles that we have to overcome.

God has His plan for us long before we were brought to this world! Every little problem is in His plan for us. Every problem He put us through is a test of our faith.

Everytime we look back at our past and ask, why is there only a set of footprint?? I thought God promised that He'll never let us walk alone and He'll always go through our difficult times with us?? Yes!! There's only one set of footprints because He kept His promise, He carried us through our most difficult times, that's why you only see one set of footprints! Those footprints belong to Him! =)

Everytime when we're feeling sad or lost, we start looking around us but find that we're all alone, and we'll start asking I thought God will never leave me?? Yes!! He didn't and will never leave us alone. He just kept to His promise and went ahead of us to make our paths clear!

Sometimes when we're feeling down and helpless, we wonder why is it friends around us and we can't feel Him. You know why?? It's because those friends around us are sent by God to do His work! That's why we always hear people saying that friends are God-sent angels in our lives =)

It's today that I finally understand this. Looking back in my life, everytime when I fall, there's always someone by my side! I'm glad for all the friends out there! No matter what, once a friend, friends forever =)

Secondly, I went on to look at photos! From young till now, I realised i really grew and changed alot! At least changed to someone who has more confidence in herself. I used to be even worst than now, scared of every little thing, at least now it's not so bad! However I must admit that I'm still a coward!! Haha!!

Never mind. I'm sure I'll continue to grow. Looking at the pictures and I realised I didn't complain of anything like last time! This is because I learnt that "I wanna stay the way I am, and be who I wanna be!" *Thanks dude!*

A nice quote to share :
If you are ham and cheese, i am the sandwhich, squeeze u in between the mayo and tomatoes, once someone takes a bite into the sandwhich, the teeth sure bite into me first la, but when the mouth close part of the ham cheese sandwhich mayo and tomatoes all inside his mouth, yum yum, so u are not alone inside the mouth, i also inside also!

2007-04-11T15:52:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was rather nice for me =) Straight after I went home, had a quick washed up and I started to surf the net and chat online. As usual, talked to my dear girl. Soon after he pop by to help his friend to advertise! I see now, other than helping your friends you have nothing better to talk to us about yea?? Due to this reason, I started playing with elmo for the night!

Thank God that whenever I start playing with elmo, he would always send people who can cheer me up or people who can give some words to help me!(",) For last night, God sent me Jiaen and Clemmy seashell! =)

My dear girl has her way of making me feel better with her blurness, helping me to vent my anger by scolding with me! Haha! Nevertheless, her advice!!(",) Thanks alot my dear girl, for always being there for me no matter what! You know you mean alot to me =)

As for clemmy seashell, he always have his own way of cheering me up with his overflowing of lemon juice eh(",) Always giving encouragement in a shooting manner..Wahahaha!! But must say the way he say things is rather nice!!~~ Weet!!~~ I found someone who can be my partner to put words across in a nice way..Hahaha!!

After talking to the both of them, I felt so much better! At least they made me forget about him at the moment!(",) Then kuku clemmy seashell came up with this BRIGHT idea but refused to tell me. After awhile my phone started ringing, I thought which kuku called me at such a time with PRIVATE number still.

Answer is clemmy seashell! Haha! We joked, pour lemon juice on each other and we started to play with elmo when we started sending each other songs?! Haha!! Time seems to pass so shortly and when the piggy went off to sleep, I realised we had been talking for an hour! Haha!

Then started to talk to Jiaen and got quite emo at a point of time when we read someone's blog. We just don't understand how can some people get over things so easily! We want to be like one of them, but no matter how hard we try, we just can't!

Haix! Lousy me!!~~ I just can't seems to take things lightly especially when it comes to relationship stuff! For example, I like him but I don't even dare to let him know. Haha! Coward right?! I know, you don't have to tell me, I know myself jolly well! I'm a coward when it comes to such things!

Never mind. With the way he's treating the group of us now, the feeling is starting to fade! Yeap. Anyway, when I got to know the real side of him, I had already told myself to give up. Haha! Finally after some time it's starting to fade. So I guess I'm going to be alright soon!

Then I'll be free from a major problem! After which I can be the happy me again! =)

2007-04-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

Cary - 世界唯一的你

是你
第一眼我就认出来
这是命运最美的安排

是我
让你越过漫长的等待
我们只要现在深爱幸福就来

恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半

这个世界唯一的你
是我拥有的奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密

紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌
我也愿意我什么都愿意

看开过去所有的悲哀
都只是寻觅我唯一勇敢

真爱
照亮了漆黑的夜晚
寻找了一次一辈子
再不分开

恨我来不及参于你的过去
抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半

呜...耶....

是一个奇迹
对我说的一字一句
都是我们的秘密

紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌
我也愿意我什么都愿意....

呜...哦...

我愿意付出一切交换
我灵魂的另一半

ho ...哦...

就算让我伤尽天理我什么都愿意
为你紧紧拥抱唯一的你
无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌
我也愿意我什么都愿意

2007-04-10T20:50:00.000+08:00

I woke up quite late today, so decided to skip my meal again! Washed myself up and started using the desktop. I gave this private blog link to a wrong person. I guess maybe I was still in the sleeping mode, so the brain couldn't function properly. Haha!

Never mind. I guess no harm opening up this blog now, just that he cannot come to know about it because I don't intend to let him know about all these. Hee! Yes. You can call me silly if you want, because I know I'm one when it comes to this kind of things.

It's alright because I'm growing up! At least going through all these had given me the ability to understand what others are going through sometimes, hence being able to give better words. At least I'm speaking from my heart and not just saying things for the sake of consoling or helping!

Anyway, had a nice chat with clemmy seashell before going out to meet Esabel. Now, I have clearer answer to those questions that had been ringing in my head! I'm glad to have friends like you people here who are reading this blog. Thanks for always reading my private blog and start to talk to me and giving me those valuable thoughts and answer(",)

Met up with my dear girl and we started roaming around SimLim. We both bought things and we started to hate MAC laptop alot! Haha! Suddenly I'm starting to regret to choose to enter mass communication. Never mind, I'm sure God has His plan for me =)

Anyway, it feels just like the past, it's always so relaxing to hang around her! Hey girl, I love you lots!!(",)

Here is a nice answer that answers to a question that I'm sure alot of us had been asking ourselves(",)

Clemmy Seashell says:
Q : why can't i apply what i say to others on myself?

words are so easily given away but the actions that are attached to them are painful lessons. That part would have to die to be reborn again, when u are going to live you life without any regrets. If you ever have the chance to turn back time, would you do anything differently?..=) i know i would not, because if i did there would be a different outcome and i know that is not me anymore. you might want time to pass ever so quickly, so the pain, hurt and regrets would move on, but to really feel hurt that you do now is how you really grow. No use brooding on past mistakes, no use thinking on things that would hurt u even more. when life gets u down, do not mellow on the past on how u could have done things differently but how u can make ur future better !!! going thru this phase is not easy, but it was by chance that God sent an angel who is going thru the same pain u are going thru. also coincidental that this kuku angel got the same phone on the same day as this kuku face child

2007-04-10T13:57:00.000+08:00

Janice Wei Lan - Never Let You Go

The rain just never seems to bring the joy, I feel the same,
Everlasting pain of my loss remains,
My heart can't seem to learn to part,
The hold you left your mark,
All that I dreamed of now it seem so stark,

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now, but give in,

*Chorus
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

The way you left me on the train,
I don't know what to say,
I remember everything of that day,
I can't believe we'd never dance,
I just need one more chance,
To share the sunset,Our one last romance,

Though I told myself, won't hold my breath,
A part of me was dying,
There is nothing left for me to do now but give in,

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you,
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go

2007-04-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today was a nice and lovely day! I woke up very early and started to surf the net. I went on blog hopping today and realised that the cyber world is getting more and more dead. Haha! I kept watch of time because I didn't wanted to be late to meet Abigail and Esabel.

It's been so long since I last met up with these 2 girls. We always text each other to request for meet up, but in the end, we'll always delay or postpond! Finally we are meeting up today, of course I was jumping for joy. Haha!

We went for dinner at Sakae sushi and we started shopping around town. After which we went to bugis street, had some small talks and we headed home! A short catching up session, but a nice and lovely one!

Before I went to meet the girls, I had a chat with Clement(Shocked that I know your full name?? =p) (",) He's a nice guy I just got to know recently =) In fact, he's my "God bestowed Angel"! Haha! Someone always trying to cheer me up with jokes and shooting me when he sense something's wrong with me. Thanks dude!

However, today was little child's turn to listen to the angel. Actually, I felt the pain too because I went through this period of time of trying to pick myself up after a terrible fall. Instead, I'm trying to do that now!

Read his blog, saw the things he said made me felt touched but also confused. Why am I always helping others out, telling them nice words BUT i just can't seems to say those to myself? Why can't I apply what I say to others on myself?

Yeah.I'm beginning to play with elmo and being emo now.What to do? I'm just plain useless, just another useless emotional freak living on this world, wasting the earth's resources! Sometimes I really wish that I have stronger legs so I won't fall so easily. Just my luck.

2007-04-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why is everyone telling me about all their problems tonight. I'm feeling so emotional now! Tears welling up in my eyes, but there's nothing that I can do about it. Talk to someone? Blogging it out? How to do all these when I'm feeling totally lost and confuse. I just can't find the right words to express how I feel. That's also one major problem that I'm facing now!

Firstly,I guess you're one person that I really thank God for letting me know you. You were someone I knew by mistake, a beautiful accidental to me. When I'm facing problems and can't turn to anyone because of one reason or another,you were always there to listen and cheer up me.

To you,you might felt that you didn't do much for me because you weren't good at your words, but seriously, you played an important part in my life when I was trying hard to pick myself up when I fell so seriously back then.

Thanks for helping me up, teaching and guiding me to start walking again. You might have the same thoughts as me sometimes, why I trusted you so much. It's because you shared your problems with me, so I told you mine too. It was supposed to be an exchange, and we thought it's much easier talking in this way since we don't know who's over at the other screen.

After all, we finally meet up and had a fun day and you knew my other friends too. I was super glad that we can all click so well. In the past, every little small thing can let you know how I'm feeling, but now, even if it's obvious you treat it as you don't know anything I suppose.

Knowing that you're not feeling great and asked you about it, all you did was started joking about it again. It really breaks my heart sometimes. Where are all the words that you had given to me? Why bother to make promises when you know that you can't keep?

Secondly, I'm afraid! Now is my down period. It means that I'll fall easily too. Please.. Dear God, let me stay strong this time round. I really do not hope to fall and commit any mistake that I'll regret for life.

Lastly, having so many problems but I can't even turn to someone I used to depend alot on in the past. She might be having her very own problem, hope she'll be doing fine too.

2007-04-02T21:05:00.000+08:00

Leslie called me just now, someone who had never called me before. Guess what's the reason to call me!! Out of concern to check if I'm still taking My Voice and wanted to ask me down to MG to sing. How interesting yea?? I bet readers here should know what I mean by interesting.Haha!!

It was the first time I felt so pressurized to go town. First, visited Alan, took a whole bag of free chocolates!!! Wooohoooo(",) Thanks dude..Haha!! =) Then went off to grab some stuff to get ready for school reopen. Met up with Alan, Augustine for lunch..Haha!! Thanks dude for the drinks!!(",) Off we went..trying our best not to bump into certain peeps.

Unforfunately, bump into so many of them and we had no choice but to go back there. Felt so uneasy because I no longer have a sense of belonging there. Returning there now just feels like a total stranger, whatever..Really feels weird there!

When we don't go back, people often ask about our change of attitude due to the sudden MIA-ING..But COME ON!!~~ When we go back, what kind of attitude you guys show us??!! Haix.. No comments..

Too many things had been happening, shall stop blogging about the past.. I'll be back to blog more often..Hee

2007-04-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

Now I'm blogging using my own desktop. It's been such a long time since I surf the net using my own desktop becaused something went wrong with the connection and stuff. However, I lost all my precious documents and photographs thanks to my sister who reformatted the computer without my permission!

Maybe you all must be scolding me for being ungrateful, but she rushed to repair the desktop because she wanted to use it. I'm like so...No comments! Just felt so pissed off. Feel so irritated in this family sometimes. Everybody feels that we are so bonded etc. But actually to me, they're just helping out to show off what they have. Like money, power, knowledge etc. Whatever!! Not my style to show off to such extent.

Anyway, accompanied my uncle for dialysis today. Seeing the pain he's going through really pains my heart. Ouch! Tears were at the brim when I see thick needles poking through his veins and blood ozzing out into thick tubes. Arghhhh. I better watch my diet from now on before it's my turn to go through the same thing.

2007-03-24T01:01:00.000+08:00

If you're reading this..It means that you're one of the special ones in my life(",) Only selected ones have the url link to this blog eh(",) Haha!!